Who's a Good Little Doggy?

Or, a good little fishyhead, for that matter.

Take your seats! Sit up straight! Stop chewing your pencils and FOCUS, my lovlies. Fall has arrived, school is back in session and we have work to do.

I spent most of the summer slumming it at the campground...a magical place where alcoholism is a welcome characteristic. The proof is in the abysmal brew selection at the local liquor stores. The GOOD news is that I, in all my cleverly drunk wisdom, managed to sniff out something at least passably interesting. My fishing skills clearly were not as "stunted" as my well intentioned friend suggested as I caught a Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA.

Well, at the market. In the cooler. But with MY BARE HANDS, people!

I have to be honest: this one was a waffler for me. I had a bad taste in my mouth from the only other Dogfish Head (who comes up with these names??) brew I had tasted before BUT I was more than willing to give it a clean slate. The scent of the 60 minute IPA was, honestly, very alluring. I do love hops and this hoppy smell was buttery, sugary and slightly floral. It made my mouth water.

Malty, clean and a bit bitter at first taste, it left me unsure. I was surprised that it did not taste like it smells. Second sip was dry, nutty and still quite malty. In fact, the malt and hops did this dance on my tongue the whole bottle through.

Aaaaaand the next 2 bottles were equally warm and clean. I certainly recommend this one, even though it didn't strike me as an IPA. Dogfish Head has redeemed it's name in my finicky noggin! I'd like to get my hands on their Punkin Ale, as I suspect it will be fabulous.

After sleeping off my Dogfish Head-head under the stars (I'm pretty sure there really were stars) I had to set off to find something new. Something different. Something to satiate the crazed, television-starved lunatic that was taking over my malnourished and campfire-scented body. I had occasion to head home to Boston and had a late lunch at a fave pub, The Sunset Grille and Tap. With 112 beers ON TAP and another billion or so bottles to choose from I was understandably overwhelmed.

I'm ONLY HUMAN, people!

So like all logical, college minded people I slapped my hand over my eyes and landed my pretty little finger on the vast menu. Aha! Founder's Devil Dancer. Well, the name is certainly appropo, no? After being scolded for not bringing my sweet potato fries with any dipping sauce, my beer-slave-cum-shamed-food-slinger plunked down the bottle, apologetically, with a freezing cold glass. I had to forgive the poor love, his face was so fallen.

The label was cool (and we all know how important THAT is!). The smell was at once assaulting and comforting...the hops were having a SERIOUS orgy in that bottle. It was like walking into a bread factory; smooth, warm, yeasty and absolutely intoxicating. I must have had my nose in the damn bottle for longer than acceptable because my dining partner gave a strong clearing of the throat, along with a stern raise of the eyebrows.

Oh, right. Public. Gotcha. Camping will do that to a girl.

Sooooo....the bottle tips to my lips. The cold liquid slides in and I swear ta gawd, the skies opened. I heard trumpets and angels singing. I DID! I heard them!! My mouth was flat out assaulted like a freshman sorority girl at a sophmore kegger when the pansies have been weeded out and gone home.

A grenade attack of warm, nutty hops. Creamy milkiness, like homemade root beer floats. I was reminded of Whoppers (the malted milk ball, not the burger) and freshly baked bread. A hopbomb with a slight touch of citrus fruit that was perfectly placed.

A few sips in (and one clean pair of panties later) I cleared my head and tried to really focus on the brew, the essence. But I swear I just saw caramels dancing before my eyes. There was a definitive syrupy sort of finish to each sip...that slightly oily, warm feeling that coats your mouth and makes you (me, anyway) smile.

Seriously, folks. I'm in love. For the love of all things holy and good, GO GET YOURSELF A DEVIL DANCER. Just once, try one. At 12% ABV you'll be glad you did. It's like a christmas present to yourself.

I'm getting all teary, here.

Now all love stories have a hurdle, right? A low point that pulls at your heartstrings and makes you root for the glory of love! And mine is this:

I cannot find Devil Dancer to call my own. I have called every big (well stocked) liquor store I can think of to no avail. I'm crushed. Despondent. Grief stricken. Bereaved. Even my beloved Muckey's does not carry it and was unable to order it for me.

And so I retreat into the shadows of pain and heartache, unable to reach my destiny and unwilling to give up the dream. I am perusing Jet Blue's website for deals to Michigan because dreams DO NOT DIE EASY! I will not give up. We will....somehow....be united.

be well.

I like my coffee with a side of beer.

In the interest of saving time I figured, "hey, I have coffee everyday. I sample new beers at least once a week. What if I.......could I? .....should I? ......". As I contemplated this idea in the name of efficiency, I happened to stop into Muckey's Liquors during their weekly beer tasting. They were spotlighting the Berkshire Brewing Company, whose Shabadoo Black and Tan is a personal favorite. The kindly guy who was clearly in charge of quality control for the samples (ahem) offered me a cup of their Coffeehouse Porter. It was basically their Drayman's Porter with the added flavor of...well...coffee! Behold! Some genius had spared me the time consuming effort. I really should thank them, as we all know I am perpetually lazy although full of grand ideas. (I'm still debating whether I have grounds to sue the Snuggy people, since I've been wearing my bathrobe backwards on the sofa my whole life).

Where were we? Oh, yes. Coffeehouse Porter. Mmmmm.

The aroma was robust and heavy, with a very slight trace of coffee. First sip was a perfect, warming sensation...like a Snuggy on a cold night (snicker). Honestly, my first impression was a malty ale; slightly sweet in the way a really good custard pie has just a hint of sweetness without tasting of sugar. The hop flavor was discernible as an end note but not at all overpowering or bitter. It wasn't until after I had swallowed and smacked my lips (as tarty little alcoholics-in-training are wont to do) that I detected coffee. It was like a happy ending. Great porter, awesome aftertaste and then, "hey! coffee!". I can honestly say that Berkshire Brewing Company's Coffeehouse Porter was like a whole dessert and coffee course. In fact, I bought 2 40oz bottles to bring home.

I hear they have a nice rasberry barleywine ale, but Muckey's did not have it available. I'm looking forward to trying that. Perhaps between the Coffeehouse Porter and the Rasberry Barleywine I can substitute two whole meals a day and lose a few pounds!

Bitter (ale) is the new black!

Yes. Yes, I am baaaaaaaack! After a very long and grueling duel with gluten I have reclaimed my throne as the Booze Floozy, here to serve my people! My minions! My......what do you mean, no one cares I was gone?!? Really?

oh.

Well.

I will stand up and admit that "gluten" seems to be the sensitivity du jour and it's become SO passe. But my gastrointestinal system doesn't pay much attention to trends lately. I think I am finally healed enough---or at least disciplined enough not to horke down the whole loaf of garlic bread---that I can continue my Very Important Work here.

So, without further fanfare I give you......
My favorite liquor store. Hands down. Muckey's Liquors on Route 44 in Lakeville carries the best selection of brews anywhere this side of 93. Seriously. I even asked about Delerium Tremens and not only did they happily (and quickly) obtain it but told me tonight that they've already sold a few cases. So, they definitely have the sort of clientel you want to run in to. Smart boozers shop at Muckey's. If you live in the area, go to Muckeys. Tell them you saw them mentioned in the Grog Blog.

I have 3 brews to ingest before regurgitating my tyranny of honest opinion so stay with me, folks! In the famous words of some body builder-turned actor-turned politician....I'll be baaahck.