Who's a Good Little Doggy?

Or, a good little fishyhead, for that matter.

Take your seats! Sit up straight! Stop chewing your pencils and FOCUS, my lovlies. Fall has arrived, school is back in session and we have work to do.

I spent most of the summer slumming it at the campground...a magical place where alcoholism is a welcome characteristic. The proof is in the abysmal brew selection at the local liquor stores. The GOOD news is that I, in all my cleverly drunk wisdom, managed to sniff out something at least passably interesting. My fishing skills clearly were not as "stunted" as my well intentioned friend suggested as I caught a Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA.

Well, at the market. In the cooler. But with MY BARE HANDS, people!

I have to be honest: this one was a waffler for me. I had a bad taste in my mouth from the only other Dogfish Head (who comes up with these names??) brew I had tasted before BUT I was more than willing to give it a clean slate. The scent of the 60 minute IPA was, honestly, very alluring. I do love hops and this hoppy smell was buttery, sugary and slightly floral. It made my mouth water.

Malty, clean and a bit bitter at first taste, it left me unsure. I was surprised that it did not taste like it smells. Second sip was dry, nutty and still quite malty. In fact, the malt and hops did this dance on my tongue the whole bottle through.

Aaaaaand the next 2 bottles were equally warm and clean. I certainly recommend this one, even though it didn't strike me as an IPA. Dogfish Head has redeemed it's name in my finicky noggin! I'd like to get my hands on their Punkin Ale, as I suspect it will be fabulous.

After sleeping off my Dogfish Head-head under the stars (I'm pretty sure there really were stars) I had to set off to find something new. Something different. Something to satiate the crazed, television-starved lunatic that was taking over my malnourished and campfire-scented body. I had occasion to head home to Boston and had a late lunch at a fave pub, The Sunset Grille and Tap. With 112 beers ON TAP and another billion or so bottles to choose from I was understandably overwhelmed.

I'm ONLY HUMAN, people!

So like all logical, college minded people I slapped my hand over my eyes and landed my pretty little finger on the vast menu. Aha! Founder's Devil Dancer. Well, the name is certainly appropo, no? After being scolded for not bringing my sweet potato fries with any dipping sauce, my beer-slave-cum-shamed-food-slinger plunked down the bottle, apologetically, with a freezing cold glass. I had to forgive the poor love, his face was so fallen.

The label was cool (and we all know how important THAT is!). The smell was at once assaulting and comforting...the hops were having a SERIOUS orgy in that bottle. It was like walking into a bread factory; smooth, warm, yeasty and absolutely intoxicating. I must have had my nose in the damn bottle for longer than acceptable because my dining partner gave a strong clearing of the throat, along with a stern raise of the eyebrows.

Oh, right. Public. Gotcha. Camping will do that to a girl.

Sooooo....the bottle tips to my lips. The cold liquid slides in and I swear ta gawd, the skies opened. I heard trumpets and angels singing. I DID! I heard them!! My mouth was flat out assaulted like a freshman sorority girl at a sophmore kegger when the pansies have been weeded out and gone home.

A grenade attack of warm, nutty hops. Creamy milkiness, like homemade root beer floats. I was reminded of Whoppers (the malted milk ball, not the burger) and freshly baked bread. A hopbomb with a slight touch of citrus fruit that was perfectly placed.

A few sips in (and one clean pair of panties later) I cleared my head and tried to really focus on the brew, the essence. But I swear I just saw caramels dancing before my eyes. There was a definitive syrupy sort of finish to each sip...that slightly oily, warm feeling that coats your mouth and makes you (me, anyway) smile.

Seriously, folks. I'm in love. For the love of all things holy and good, GO GET YOURSELF A DEVIL DANCER. Just once, try one. At 12% ABV you'll be glad you did. It's like a christmas present to yourself.

I'm getting all teary, here.

Now all love stories have a hurdle, right? A low point that pulls at your heartstrings and makes you root for the glory of love! And mine is this:

I cannot find Devil Dancer to call my own. I have called every big (well stocked) liquor store I can think of to no avail. I'm crushed. Despondent. Grief stricken. Bereaved. Even my beloved Muckey's does not carry it and was unable to order it for me.

And so I retreat into the shadows of pain and heartache, unable to reach my destiny and unwilling to give up the dream. I am perusing Jet Blue's website for deals to Michigan because dreams DO NOT DIE EASY! I will not give up. We will....somehow....be united.

be well.

I like my coffee with a side of beer.

In the interest of saving time I figured, "hey, I have coffee everyday. I sample new beers at least once a week. What if I.......could I? .....should I? ......". As I contemplated this idea in the name of efficiency, I happened to stop into Muckey's Liquors during their weekly beer tasting. They were spotlighting the Berkshire Brewing Company, whose Shabadoo Black and Tan is a personal favorite. The kindly guy who was clearly in charge of quality control for the samples (ahem) offered me a cup of their Coffeehouse Porter. It was basically their Drayman's Porter with the added flavor of...well...coffee! Behold! Some genius had spared me the time consuming effort. I really should thank them, as we all know I am perpetually lazy although full of grand ideas. (I'm still debating whether I have grounds to sue the Snuggy people, since I've been wearing my bathrobe backwards on the sofa my whole life).

Where were we? Oh, yes. Coffeehouse Porter. Mmmmm.

The aroma was robust and heavy, with a very slight trace of coffee. First sip was a perfect, warming sensation...like a Snuggy on a cold night (snicker). Honestly, my first impression was a malty ale; slightly sweet in the way a really good custard pie has just a hint of sweetness without tasting of sugar. The hop flavor was discernible as an end note but not at all overpowering or bitter. It wasn't until after I had swallowed and smacked my lips (as tarty little alcoholics-in-training are wont to do) that I detected coffee. It was like a happy ending. Great porter, awesome aftertaste and then, "hey! coffee!". I can honestly say that Berkshire Brewing Company's Coffeehouse Porter was like a whole dessert and coffee course. In fact, I bought 2 40oz bottles to bring home.

I hear they have a nice rasberry barleywine ale, but Muckey's did not have it available. I'm looking forward to trying that. Perhaps between the Coffeehouse Porter and the Rasberry Barleywine I can substitute two whole meals a day and lose a few pounds!

Bitter (ale) is the new black!

Yes. Yes, I am baaaaaaaack! After a very long and grueling duel with gluten I have reclaimed my throne as the Booze Floozy, here to serve my people! My minions! My......what do you mean, no one cares I was gone?!? Really?

oh.

Well.

I will stand up and admit that "gluten" seems to be the sensitivity du jour and it's become SO passe. But my gastrointestinal system doesn't pay much attention to trends lately. I think I am finally healed enough---or at least disciplined enough not to horke down the whole loaf of garlic bread---that I can continue my Very Important Work here.

So, without further fanfare I give you......
My favorite liquor store. Hands down. Muckey's Liquors on Route 44 in Lakeville carries the best selection of brews anywhere this side of 93. Seriously. I even asked about Delerium Tremens and not only did they happily (and quickly) obtain it but told me tonight that they've already sold a few cases. So, they definitely have the sort of clientel you want to run in to. Smart boozers shop at Muckey's. If you live in the area, go to Muckeys. Tell them you saw them mentioned in the Grog Blog.

I have 3 brews to ingest before regurgitating my tyranny of honest opinion so stay with me, folks! In the famous words of some body builder-turned actor-turned politician....I'll be baaahck.

You kow what they say about consistency, dontcha?

Well, neither do I. But I'm sure they are wrong.

My last 2 reviews were eaten by the Maintenance Monster, who must have had some foul indigestion because they were filled with scathing, sarcastic sludge.

Let's review, shall we?

Jimmy Buffett's Land shark Lager was on the menu for me last month. Good name, as the flavor had apparantly been swallowed by something with big teeth. It was bland, watery and disappointingly boring. I had high hopes for this lager but I should have known better, coming from the largest marketing whore-fest since the Olson Twins.

In the spirit of falling leaves and pumpkins on the doorstep I was generously given Post Road Pumpkin Ale to try and review and this one is a keeper. It had a smart, cozy sent of pie spices upon opening. I could not wait to sip it! The taste is less sweet than I anticipated with the perfect blend of hops and finishing on a clean note. The aftertaste was nothing short of delicious...it made me want to add whipped cream.

And another BIG FAT THANK YOU to Flying Dog Ales, for sending me my favorite beer of September: Flying Dog Ale's Dogtoberfest. Everyone knows I am a big fan of the In-Heat Wheat and truthfully, I was not certain the fall brew could hold up to that standard but let me assure you...this is the one beer to try if you only try one this season. It had a strong, german beer smell (which my sister tells me is a compliment). But the taste was so warm and rich! Dogtoberfest is to beers what Brad Pitt is to hearthrobs: It makes you want to curl up on the sofa with it and watch a great movie with your dog warming your toes. The finish was slightly sweet and creamy and left me with an aftertaste that reminded me of Moxie a little bit. I cannot wait to try their winter brew now. I happy to report that my friends a Raynham Wine and Liquors carry this and it is front and center for me to find.

I ended September with some personal crapola (health issues) so I did not review anything new for the past 2 weeks. But I'm back in the saddle. Lookin' for action. bring it on!!

one long week and one impossibly adorable waiter later.....

Last weekend I finally tried a Blue Moon Belgian Style Pale Ale (with the obligatory orange wedge) at the suggestion of the waitress (it's been on my long list). It was really smooth and sweet and light...I surprised myself by liking it. It was so easy to drink (or gulp, as the case may be), with a cleansing, citrusy punch at the end. Refined but very simple in flavor.

So, last night I went for a casual bite to eat with The Ladies (sister, cousin, auntie) and ordered one (see: impossibly adorable waiter, above) again. And again, delish. I am pleased to see that this particular establishment had a fairly competitive selection of brews to choose from. Now if only their kitchen staff could speed it up a bit, I'd be a regular.

Something fruity this way comes.

Well, I finally found a store that carries some interesting brews for me to peruse. Phew! AND they have a second location AND the owner said if I want something special he will get it for me. So a big fat thank you to Raynham Wine and Liquors on New State Highway (Rt 44) in Raynham. My fellow lushes should go there for the biggest selection of beers I have found, thus far.

If you read the first comment on the last post, you'll see that my friend Sunny has recommended (for the 3rd time) Seadog Raspberry Wheat Ale which I finally tried. It smelled fruity...surprisingly fruity. And I mean that in a nice way. Nothing like when I told my friend Dan in high school that he was surprisingly fruity.

The raspberry flavor was less intense than it's scent, although I still could discern a hearty fruit in there. It was a bit sweeter than I normally like and truthfully, the flavor didn't linger very long. What did linger, however, was the metallic aftertaste. Holy TinFoil, Batman! The first 7 or 8 sips were almost tough to recover from. I was afraid to take the next sip. I quickly got used to it and, just to sure, I had a second one.

(hic)

It was still metallic. It did not prevent me from drinking it, and I would, in fact, order it at a pub. The taste was smooth and sweet and refreshing. But the metallic aftertaste was undeniable, all the way through the bottles and it made me wonder if it was something to do with my taste buds or the batch I got. I'm going to give it another go to be sure because it was a lovely, smooth, fruity and light ale. It reminded me of Sam Adams Summer Seasonal which i really enjoy. I really would love to try the SeaDog Apricot Wheat Beer as well as their Blue Paw Wheat Ale, to tell the truth. But alas, I have not been able to secure any :(

In keeping with my mammalian theme, I also sampled this week Dogfish Head 90 Minute Imperial IPA. The label was striking, with a dogfish (shark?) printed on a thick, papryus style label. It smells very "yeasty" which I assume is the barley (they claim a "ridiculous amount of English Two Row barley"). I couldn't stop sniffing it; it was a familiar and yet beckoning scent. Reminded me of a bakery.

The strong taste was instantly sharp and tangy on my tongue. I recoiled with an audible gasp, then dove in for more. Something about it makes my tongue lash back but yet I can't stop. Must be the same genes responsible for my fascination with John Travolta. I hear they have a Punkin Ale available in the fall and I am crossing my fingers that I'll be able to find it. Pumpkin and brown sugar in my beer? Oh my...sign me up!!

from a cloud of inebriation comes something bitter

I'm here! I'm back! I'm glad you refrained from sending the search party (rolling eyes).

I tried 2 new beers recently and have some well thought out reviews. But first I want to bitch*piss*whine*moan for a moment, if you please.

WHY can't I find a decent brewpub in my area that carries something more intriguing than the Undeserved Top Ten? If I'm really lucky they'll have Sam Adams Seasonal and one place carries the Wachussett's Blueberry Wheat but everywhere else is the same old boring, bitter, beer-flavored water that I hated from the first sip. I'm going to start picketing.

And, in other news, a big huge HOLLA to Stephanie at Flying Dog Ales who read my blog and is helping me out with my Journey to Alcoholism. Watch for my (probably sloppy) ramblings of their upcoming fall brew, Dogtoberfest!

Okay, onward and upward!

Magic Hat brewery makes a few cool brews. Their labels rival Flying Dog in the coolness department....eye catching and kinda trippy. I chose the #9 which is "not quite pale ale" according to the company. It smelled like the Mojo, which scared me immediately. The flavor was interestingly bitter but fruity. At first I thought I didn't like it so much but as I took a few more sips it really grew on me. The bitterness lingered in my mouth and was a surprisingly nice taste. The label said that Magic Hat #9 contains the "essence of apricot" but I dont know that I ever could discern that.

Up next was Weihenstephaner. What's that you say? Oh, yes. ANOTHER one no one can pronounce. Good luck ordering one. On second thought, don't bother. It was indiscernible from any of the UTT. It was watery, boring and kind of bland. They claim to be the "world's oldest brewery" which prompts me to think they need to do some re-evaluating. It was just not good beer. And I can't SAY it which does not encourage me to seek it out, anyway.

So, there ya go. I'm having a hell of a time finding places that carry new grog for me to sample so give me a shout if you know of a store or pub that carries something new worth trying.

hic.